The Power of a Mentor Moment

by Jeff Myers

A couple of years ago I asked folks to send me stories of the “everyday sages” who had influenced them deeply. I bet I asked 50,000 people through flyers, e-mails and announcements. Yet in the end, I only received six usable stories. There were lots of quips and quotes, but only six people articulated the powerful impact that a wise mentor had on their lives.

At first I chalked that up to the usual suspects: “Don’t have time,” “Don’t know how to get it on paper” and “It slipped my mind.” “This can’t be the case,” I thought. “It’s not POSSIBLE to grow to healthy adulthood without the significant, guiding influence--however insignificant it seemed at the time--of older adults--pastors, teachers, or leaders.” If this generation of adults lacked that kind of input, no wonder they are dropping the ball when it comes to personal, spiritual input into people’s lives.

When we have no stories to tell, it’s hard to pass anything on to the next generation.

 

The Little Moments Matter

But maybe it’s not as bad as it seems. Maybe the issue isn’t whether we have knights riding up to us on white stallions, transporting us to a life of significance. Maybe the most important mentoring takes place in the everydayness of life--the little conversations, the words of encouragement or rebuke, the expression or insight that reframe the way we see things.

I recently gained insight into the power of the little moments when I interviewed a young woman named Sarah for a video clip to be used in the Passing the Baton seminar. Sarah had a great mentor and is now passing the baton to high school and college girls through mentoring relationships. At the very end of our interview, Sarah said:

“What I’m learning is that God has placed us in a community where we’re with people who can mentor us and also people we can mentor. It doesn’t have to be a formal, ‘Will you mentor me?’ Sometimes it just happens and you think, “'That was a mentor moment.'”

When I play that clip for audiences, the response is immediate. I hear whispers of “Yes!” or “Mm-hm.” The phrase “mentor moment” stands out because we intuitively know that there is enormous power in everyday interactions. “Mentor Moments” often strike us as “Aha” experiences-- the clouds part and we gain immense clarity that allows us to break through difficult barriers. Other times the power of the Mentoring Moment strikes us only in hindsight, as we reflect on divine encounters.

 

 

Seeing (and Seizing) the Mentor Moment

I had an experience last week that demonstrated the power of the Mentor Moment. A man came up to me at an event and said, “Remember when you were speaking at ‘X’ conference and you said ‘Y’?”

I think I mumbled something like, “Uh, no, I don’t actually remember saying that.” The man replied, “Well that’s what you said, and it changed my life.” It was a deeply encouraging moment, but it was scary too. I thought, “If one sentence that I don’t even remember saying had such a great impact on a person...well, I’d better be careful what I say!”

Of course, that’s placing a little too much weight on the situation. I think what happened is that God had “piled up kindling” in that man’s life, and I had the honor of lighting the match. Yet that is precisely why Mentor Moments are so powerful. Imagine how many people are piles of dry kindling in search of a match! Be the one to light them and you’ll have an eternal impact.

Here are eight quick conversation starters that can spark a Mentor Moment:

“I’ve observed ‘X’ character quality in you and want to encourage you—you’re doing a great job!”

“I think you have the potential to do ‘Y,’ and here’s why I think that.”

“I’m going to have a time of prayer later today. Is there anything you would like for me to pray about for you?”

“I heard a quote the other day that I thought was really profound...”

“Here’s a passage of Scripture that I’ve been meditating on lately...”

“A wise mentor once told me...”

“How can I support you in what you’re doing?”

“I’ve learned some things that might be helpful to you. Would you be interested in getting together and talking?”

 

A Mentor Moment Project

Can you think of the Mentor Moments that have happened in your own life? Times when a teacher, parent or other leader shared something with you, or demonstrated a caring attitude, that reframed your understanding of yourself and the world around you? Write it down!

Don’t refrain from writing just because you feel your story isn’t “profound.” Many Mentor Moments don’t seem profound, at least at first. But what happened and how it affected you is what is most important. If Mentor Moments can change the world, we must learn how to use them for eternity.

 

 

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